When we still want to become stronger/better, we are kind of overshadowing the inherent strength/perfection that is already there.
I can only put it as such, the strong clarity of the things you don't want or want to improve/change, are the grinding paper which is grinding down the interest in those very same wants/wishes.
The purpose of it is for us to realize that: "We have to let go of what we want, to be open to what we already receive each moment."
When we finally are tired and exhausted of wanting better since we do not know how to reach "better", we at some point relax into our brokenness. Many struggle an entire life time never reaching that point. But that is where we ultimately all arrive at.
Then our wants/wishes transform and instead we act our will.
For we lose the self-importance in our wanting to achieve that which is our potential, and what remains is the potential achieving itself once that resistance is gone (the resistance being self-importance/self-narrative/self-concept).
We somehow realize that we are not in control of ourselves and can't control our getting better or our growth or even how we appear to be.
Once we fully stop in our tracks in the space of no control we realize that "HERE" is where I am actually most in control but not by doing control.
Rather the monkey mind self-talk seems to transform into no longer being a bully which tears us apart, but more and more becomes the joker whose attempts at making us feel insecure or fitting us in a positive/negative box are laughed at.
The parts that still emotionally affect/trigger us, get less intense, since we no longer tell ourselves we are not supposed to feel that way, and through allowing the feeling to be part of our human nature, our humanity, we allow our own imperfection to arise and express, while we hold it in gentle non-judgment as our own inner parent.
This also opens up more and more the feeling that no matter how broken someone is in front of you, you realize that's just you in the Past and we allow them to be broken as broken as they need to be, without telling them they need to get better or do something about it.
If I meet someone that's depressed and they tell me they are suffering a depression, I smile and say that I have no problem with that, I tell them who wouldn't be sometimes depressed in life? I do not join them in their fight against something that is their friend, I make them aware that depression is not fighting them, it is their own dear friend paying a visit with a gift to hand to them if they allowed the guest the hospitality he deserves.
Once they no longer see their own brokenness as a disease in that space they are able to simply feel depressed without fighting it and it just clears up.
Being permitted to be depressed around you, gives them a feeling of home and space in which they realize they do not need to fake a smile or be perfect, but they can sit there with the shittiest frown on their face and just be.
If you allow yourself to be that without resistance or fighting it, all those feelings become the natural fertilizer of your own growth instead of the seeming obstacles.
Trying to put into words a super subtle point which is more of an experience that happened to me over time, and only in retrospect do I realize what was happening during that process.
Knowing or realizing that ultimately what I want is already Here through that process.
What I really want and always have truly wanted even if I could not admit it to myself, was just to Be here, standing in Life.
What we really want is namely not something we could want consciously.
It is realizing that all our wanting is only capable of wanting what it knows.
What I really want, I do not know or can not know.
For What I want or everyone wants, is a surprise.
And that is occurring all the time, except we miss it like idiots since we are looking for that which we think we know we want.
Short Resume in a different dimension of the above:
[You must lose your mind to be able to see the strangeness of reality.
For if you saw that reality was stranger than fiction while holding on to your mind, you certainly will lose it, but in the most destructive meaning of the expression.
No mind can hold reality, it will go insane if it were to witness even a fraction of it and try to make ends meets logically. In a way that you will be running around with an insane mind not knowing how to lose it anymore.]